Want to ruin your coulrophobic friend’s day? Schedule a Hurts Donut Company
delivery from a scary clown driving an ambulance called the “emergency donut vehicle.” No joke. That alone says plenty about the personality behind Hurts, a very colorful franchise that’s nearing 25 locations country-wide; ours opened in May, and runs “25 hours a day, 8 days a week.” We assemble a dirty half dozen ($11), and enjoy seeing Cookie Monster’s eyes staring out at us. When I ask a staffer what its bright glazing tastes like, he simply says “blue.” I love the sass, but turns out the answer is super-sugary icing atop a fluffy glazed dough wheel. Two chocolate donuts taste like their commercial toppings: peanut butter cups, and Andes mints, both a bit dry and benefiting from the pairing of an organic, dark Guatemalan house-labeled coffee ($2.50). A donut called the Jesus tastes like a churro, and an old-fashioned cake donut crumbles and cloys, highly sweet and nearly as sinful as a custard-stuffed Oreo cheesecake.