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Viper Cookies: Smoke too much and it is nap time

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Viper Cookies will get you high and put you down. - BRANDON SODERBERG
  • Brandon Soderberg
  • Viper Cookies will get you high and put you down.

Girl Scout Cookies — one half of this week’s strain, Viper Cookies — is becoming the next cannabis generation’s Blue Dream: oft-referenced, wildly popular, a stand-out on its own and a team player that assists any hybrid that has some of it in its mix. The MSG or bacon of weed maybe? Girl Scout Cookies makes a strain “better” — by which I mean stronger, coherent, familiar — and more people will like whatever cross is out there — or at least, get off-the-rails ripped on it ­— if GSC’s presence is known. Like Blue Dream, its precise origins are hard to pin down, giving it a mirthful, mysterious quality.

With Viper Cookies especially, Girl Scout Cookies — a mix of OG Kush and Durban Poison that is a bit like being sped up and slowed down all at once, eliciting a lot of thinking and only thinking, no action — works as an especially good companion to Viper (Blackseed and Burmese Landrace), a motivation-reducing strain that gives your brain a deep tissue massage. Speaking of which, Viper Cookies looks like a Kelly green brain of a bud, lumpy rather than pointed — more turd than naturally occurring droplet shape — with a taste that’s confounding. A hint of mocha and some high-grade floor cleaner that’s lime-scented in the smell, with a taste that’s like if you lit those things on fire, burnt chocolate, acrid fruit, landing somewhere near rosemary, or really, rosemary bread left in the oven too long.


I haven’t used it for any edibles, but Viper Cookies, even when you’re just smoking it, reflects the careful dance you must do with an edible: Take too much and you’re flat on your ass within moments, take in just a little and it’s barely a buzz, and getting it just right (and ultimately with a powerful, uncompromising hybrid such as this, the right amount of too much) is singularly rewarding, and also tough to do.

Basically, there are three plateaus to Viper Cookies’ high and all have their rewards, even that mind-erasing, makes-you-real-sleepy too much plateau: 1) Smoke a small amount of Viper Cookies and it’s a wispy high so much in your head that it’s nearly undetectable — the idea of weed, hauntological pot. 2) Smoke a little more than that and you’re foggy, sleepy, dreamy, moving through the world with a stoned halo above you, vibrating. 3) Smoke too much and it is nap time, don’t even try to fight it, though as you doze off, you’ll see everything right in front of you brightly colored and everything else behind it black and white, besides the point of your immediate reality.

When I stood up on this stuff, I felt sick, attacked, going through some things with some sweat on the place between my nose and lip (I recall a kid in high school gym class who used to called this his “face taint”). Whether this is some kind of semi-body shutdown (reducing your scope so you can actually walk or move or think) or some trippy side effect depends on your tolerance and what you’re looking for weed to do to you.



Strength: 9
Nose: Rosemary, mocha
Euphoria: 9
Existential dread: 5
Freaking out when a crazy person approaches you: 5
Drink pairing: Clear seltzer
Music pairing: Camel’s Rain Dances, Soft Machine’s Fifth, or Hawkwind’s Doremi Fasol Latido
Rating: 9

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