1. Want a hit?
2. No, Dad, you can't borrow my eyeliner.
3. Yeah, so the other day I was coveting my neighbor's wife's ass ...
4. It's Sunday. I'm sure God understands I'm hung over. He rested on Sunday, too.
5. So, you didn't want me to tell the congregation you're gay?
6. Sorry about Ezekiel; I needed rolling papers.
7. No, Dad, first you drop the shot glass in, then you slam it.
8. What would Jesus say about your porn collection?
9. Hey Dad, I was checking your e-mail ... what's a chlamydia?
Says who? Kristin Key, comic in town this week.