- David Sedaris is so poignant and funny that his sinuses smoke
So it's a day late. No trouble, brah. Catch 420 Fest tonight at Classics (5943 Delmonico Drive), where the completely stoned and only partially stoned alike can join together to rock out with the Phunk Junkeez, Axe Murder Boyz, Keno G, Nightmare and Woodpile. This should be a variously tight and fresh show, with hip-hop and funk vying for the title of "whoah!" through massive clouds of smoke. There's a $10 charge. For more, check out www.axemurderboyz.com or www.purgatoryentertainment.com.
If the sounds of metal balls pinging and kerchinging and whizdangering get you revved up, you need to haul ass to Golden this weekend for the Pinball Showdown. Whizdangering will be in full effect, as participants compete, vendors hawk their pinball-related wares, and attendees hit up seminars on pinball purchasing and repair. Things take off at the Jefferson County Fairgrounds (15200 W. 6th Ave., in Golden) from noon today until 5 p.m. on Sunday. A three-day pass is $30 for adults and $20 for kids age 7-12. For more, ker-ching your way over to www.pinballshowdown.com, or call 303/883-2603.
Join wnder 40-something satirist David Sedaris this evening at the Buell Theatre (1031 13th St., in Denver). Called "the funniest man alive" by print journalists more eminent than myself (and also by me, which is what counts), Sedaris is an author, playwright and regular contributor to NPR's This American Life. He's also capable of making you laugh so hard you spit beer all over, and then everything is covered in beer, and that makes you laugh more. You spend 15 minutes in paroxysms of giggling so intense that you break your glasses. Oh, David. Tickets for the 8 p.m. show are $25-$35 and available through Ticketmaster outlets, online at www.cc.com or by calling 520-SHOW.
Break-dancing and roller-skating -- long have the two forms ached to be combined. Throw in a shakerful of dance, ballet, robotics and acrobatics, and by gum, you've got yourself a tasty treat called Skate & Break. Such are the usual, unorthodox dance pieces we've come to expect from the Sangre de Cristo Arts Center (210 N. Santa Fe Ave., in Pueblo), recently renowned for hosting a performance of balloonlike ballet. The hip-hop skatesters perform at 11 a.m. and again at 2 p.m. Tickets are a mere $6 per person, and you can get yours by calling 719/295-7222.
It's an age-old story. You're on a date, headed to the hottest Celtic nightclub in town, when it suddenly occurs to you: You can't dance to jigs, reels or even shanties! Your date is ruined! Don't you worry, my strudel. On this and every Monday, get your butt over to Traditions Studio (3333-G N. El Paso St.) for traditional Irish dance lessons. These adult classes instruct the Isle-licious basics of Irish and ceili (group) dancing and continue through June 6. For more information, hit up www.stbrendansschool.org, or call 659-7590.
- Heads up! Catch Skate & Break at the Sangre de Cristo Arts Center.
You should head to Denver again tonight to see supergroup Velvet Revolver, who's dolin' out their brand of sleazoid rock 'n' roll at the Magness Arena on the Denver University campus. This ex-Guns n' Roses, ex-Stone Temple Pilots vehicle debuted at Billboard's No. 1 with their album Contraband and was named Best New Artist by Rolling Stone's Reader's Poll, which is kind of an accomplishment for a bunch of dudes in their 40s. The show is spendy; look to pay $39-$69, and do so by heading to www.hob.com or by hitting up any Ticketmaster outlet.
I know you're upset about the spiraling decline of NBC's Must-Watch Thursday lineup. We all are. Buy hey, words can be a salve, and I suggest you check out a reading by poets Jenn Habel and Jane Hilberry at Colorado College to ease your television pains. Habel has been published in Southern Poetry Review and Greensboro Review, and Hilberry's new book is Body Painting -- no slouches these women. The reading is free and starts at 7 p.m. in the McHughs Commons (above the Herb 'n' Farm Caf in CC's Western Ridge complex at 1090 N. Cascade Ave.). Together, we can beat this TV malaise.
Beggars, whores and thieves make for great opera. The proof's in The Threepenny Opera, playing through May 8 at the Dusty Loo Bon Vivant Theater (3955 Cragwood Drive). Catch your favorite scamps in this performance, both a sendup and tribute to the conventions of opera, featuring jazz-influenced songs about sexual obsession, mass murder and whales who learn to speak with humans but can only communicate through cryptic questions (although I might have made that last one up). See page 40 for a full review. The show runs Thursday through Saturday nights at 7:30 p.m., Saturday afternoons at 2 p.m., and Sundays at 4 p.m. Tickets are $18-$20 and are available by calling 262-3232 or logging on to www.uccstheatreworks.com.
Tonight, strap on your mosh helmet and camo pants and head over to the Navajo Hogan (2817 N. Nevada), where heaviness will commence in the form of New England rockers Bury Your Dead along with The Red Chord, A Life Once Lost and If Hope Dies. Expect drop-tuned chuggy riffs, slower-than-slow breakdowns and mosh calls galore. It's reasonable to assume you won't hear sassy keyboard solos or allusions to the lesser works of the Scissor Sisters. The show starts at 7:30 p.m. and costs $10. For more, head over to www.sodajerkpresents.com.
-- Aaron Retka