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Strain review: Wedding Cake


The high this bud offers is gently psychedelic and may be emotionally balancing. - BRANDON SODERBERG
  • Brandon Soderberg
  • The high this bud offers is gently psychedelic and may be emotionally balancing.
Wedding Cake is an especially urgent strain with some mystery. To understand it, you should be up on Durban Poison, a loyal Sativa that gets you going like an energy drink, because allegedly, Wedding Cake is a mix of Girl Scout Cookies (itself a quite sweet OG Kush and Durban Poison hybrid) and Cherry Pie (a giddy mix of Granddaddy Purple and Durban Poison), and so it’s got a whole lot of Durban Poison in it.

Some noted budsmen I know say that’s all wrong though, and that Wedding Cake isn’t Girl Scout Cookies and Cherry Pie (a strain sometimes called Pink Cookies) but a combination of Triangle Kush and Animal Mints. For what it’s worth, I obtained some Cherry Pie too, to see what’s up. It did echo Wedding Cake — a high that comes on fast and pleasant and a little trippy and sticks around, and has a kind of cheap-sherbet-from-the-grocery-store-that’s-in-those-big-tubs taste.
Whatever Wedding Cake may be, it’s essentially a meandering maze of wonky weed hybrids, sweet cookie crosses and word-of-mouth, and its appeal is its slipperiness. The high is gently psychedelic — so are the buds themselves, which are an explosive light green, almost fluorescent. After smoking some, it looked like everything I was seeing was viewed through 1/1000 shutter speed, that high-definition swirl of porous detail you see when you watch action shots of a basketball game, a stuttering glossy hyper-reality, which would’ve been terrifying if Wedding Cake didn’t really squash anxiety and calm you down. You feel more like you’re a viewer than a participant in whatever it is that’s going on in front of you. There is also a kind of rough-hewn sweetness to it, a touch of that expected cookie taste, some taut pine and mint too.

A friend of mine swears by Wedding Cake, saying it helped them weather a recent shift from one depression medication to another amid the always-tender jump from summer into fall into winter (and these days, the emotionally devastating back-and-forths among the three because of global warming). Plain and simple, it made them feel happy, which is rare for this person, but more than that — stable, sturdy. Meanwhile, the “professional” medications coursing through their body added chaos and confusion, so mental and physical well-being felt up in the air, all on the whims of some doctors trying some shit out to see what works. This is not to say medicine of the Big Pharma-pimped, heavily-researched-and-put-into-a-pill sort is bad, just that, well, it sometimes feels like it’s not enough. Wedding Cake sustained them and offered guidance through some rough patches and put a rare smile on their face. I can really only imagine.

Strength: 8
Nose: Used-up vanilla ice cream-scented air freshener
Euphoria: 8
Existential dread: 5
Freaking out when a crazy person approaches you: 5
Drink pairing: Jeppson’s Malört
Music pairing: Iglooghost, Neo Wax Bloom
Rating: 8

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