- Brandon Soderberg
- It ain’t much to look at, but Qrazy Train is one of the better “hot mess hybrids.”
Qrazy Train consists of Trainwreck — whose name I mocked in a past review (death to pseudo-“bad-ass” weed names!) but I also wrote that it brought with it, “a pain-relieving body high that’s truly something special” — along with Purple Urkel, Trinity and Space Queen. You can feel each of those specific strains’ effects here: the gloopy, grinning sleepiness of Purple Urkel; the bright-eyed joy of Trinity; the vibrating nerviness of Space Queen.
Like the best hot mess hybrids, Qrazy Train is one where all of its distinct elements get to solo for a bit, but when they work together, it’s in a wonky kind of harmony instead of sloppy discord. That said, the bud here is a mess. One of the least attractive I’ve seen (maybe that’s the crazy part, I dunno), a muted purple-bruise/turd-brown color, though it’s also soft and rips apart like tissue paper, and grinds into a particularly fine powder. And it tastes how it smells, a mealy IPA flavor (or vice versa really, an IPA tastes like weed, but you know what I mean) and leaves you with an
unobtrusive cough-free inhale.
Knowingness, with the slightest hint of enlightenment is the best way to describe the high. It’s a puckish kind of at-peace, with a bit of an edge to it like Bill Murray in that weird adaptation of W. Somerset Maugham’s The Razor’s Edge. There’s that one part in the book where a character describes what he’s reading like this: “I don’t suppose I understand very much of it yet, but it fills me with exultation. It’s like landing from your plane on a great plateau in the mountains. Solitude, and an air so pure that it goes to your head like wine and you feel like a million dollars.”
If Qrazy Train lives up to its name much at all, it’s not by evoking Ozzy Osbourne’s idiotic arch hard-rocker with its dumb “all aboard” woo woo’s and echoing “aye-aye-aye” and oh that riff, dumb and complicated. Rather, it evokes Trick Daddy’s “Crazy Train”-sampling, “Let’s Go,” which shoots Ozzy’s yells and that riff through Miami fight-you, party music. Does that make any sense?
Nose: A moss-flavored gummy bear
Existential dread: 1
Freaking out when a crazy person approaches you: 1
Drink pairing: PBR
Music pairing: No Age’s “Snares Like a Haircut” or just Trick Daddy