- Brandon Soderberg
- Gorilla Cookies — an awful smell for such a dependable strain.
When you read reviews on dependable and relatively straight strain review sites, or you talk to the cannabis connoisseur in your life, you’ll witness smart-dumb stoners trying hard to put a spin on Gorilla Cookies’ smell: “pungent” and “loud” says Leafly; “Earthy, Pine, Sour, Spicy,” says AllBud; and “funky and int3ns3” a friend texted when I asked for his take. (And yes the Es were 3s. I am going to assume it’s because his phone is trained to do that given how often he is typing the non-word, “w33d.”) All of those observations are infected by the avoidance of a simple truth that savvy branding prevents us from admitting: This shit smells like vomit.
Admittedly, the smell might be more of a problem if Gorilla Cookies weren’t such a dependable strain. Its high is intense, and the way it sits in your lungs if you smoke it will make you feel like you just sprinted or at least did some running, a loopy runner’s high really. Bemusing but consistent, Gorilla Cookies peaks quick and hangs around — a robust minimalism with not so much a comedown as a steady dissolution — all of which makes total sense coming from a 50 percent Sativa and 50 percent Indica strain made up of Thin Mint Cookies and Gorilla Glue 4. Everything about this strain makes sense — it is what you’d imagine it would be, precisely — except for that throw-up smell, an icky, grounding element you’d be wise to embrace.
Nose: Like vomit in the room next to the one you’re in
Existential dread: 5
Freaking out when a crazy person approaches you: 5
Drink pairing: A stout of some sort
Music pairing: Lea Bertucci’s Metal Aether