- Baynard Woods
- This hybrid strain “grabs you by the shoulders and straightens your spine.”
And when you smoke it it is also almost too perfect — almost. The high is so well-calibrated that I was a little suspicious of it too. Cindy 99 x Vortex grabs you by the shoulders and straightens your spine almost as soon as you exhale it. I worried that the initial lift would leave me somewhere awful, like the man in John Cheever’s short story “The Swimmer,” whose day started “sliding down the banister that morning and sitting in the Westerhazys’ sun” and ended with a “cold in his bones and the feeling that he might never be warm again.”
But Cindy 99 x Vortex avoids the abrupt crash into lethargy. Instead it rolls into a nice body-buzz, as if down a slightly sloping hill — exhilaration with relaxation.
I was sure there had to be something I didn’t dig about it — but I’ve been smoking it for weeks now and it turns out that it holds up over time. It works at almost any time of day, but is best treated as an afternoon cocktail, something to give you a relaxed pep before a final bit of work — and a big dinner (for a primarily Sativa hybrid it packs some powerful munchies).
But in the old-school days when you had two cassette players and the song had to play while you found the next song, you knew it would be good. Because it was the song you wanted right then, as the other song was playing. That’s how the Cindy 99 x Vortex feels. The crossing of the strains feels organic, like the perfect DJ bringing you from something up and jamming to a chill but still thumping groove. It turns out it ain’t one of those prefab boy bands at all, but something potent and interesting, but not too interesting. It is solid, an old favorite song, or an old neighbor you know you can rely on.
Nose: pineapple suntan lotion
Existential dread: 2
Freaking out when crazy person approaches you: 3
Drink pairing: Gin and tonic
Music pairing: Tom Zé’s “Jimmy Renda-Se”