Note to readers: this blurb was written as part of our April Fools'Day package. Enjoy accordingly.
"I was looking at my freezer, which was overflowing with pumped milk, and I didn't want to throw it out ... then I got this idea. Why not cheese?"
That's 34-year-old Jenny Jackson, discussing how she came up with the concept for Mommy's Milk (5559 S. Academy Blvd., freshfromthebreast.com), scheduled to open in mid-April.
Jackson says she enrolled in a six-week cheesemaking course at Paragon Culinary School last fall, and learned the basics on inoculating milk, adding rennet, separating curd and more. The knowledge returned when she looked at her own nurse-nectar.
At first, Jackson thought she'd only be able to offer her clever line of artisanal cheeses — Rosemary Camemboob, Honey-Sage Cheddar-Knocker, Mozzerella Mamilla, Full-Frontal Fruit Fromage, Blueberry Bosom Brie — to friends, but after some research, she found an FDA loophole of sorts allowing her to sell her and other nursing mothers' products retail.
"It's kind of like the trend of buying into a share of a cow or goat to obtain raw, unpasteurized milk," she says. "By paying a one-time, $10 fee, my customers enter into a contract where they effectively own a share of a breast — you know, like a CSA. From there, they can buy anything in-house."
Jackson says she decided to go the storefront route to allow for other unique products: "I've been reading up on placentophagy [the historical practice of placenta-eating], and I was thinking, 'Why not share this oft-wasted product's nourishment with others?'"
With a little effort, she believes she could bring cow, buffalo and human placenta jerky to market soon. For more details, read here.
Who's got the herb?
With the recent explosion of medical marijuana dispensaries, you'd be forgiven if you mistakenly assumed that a newly announced herbal CSA (community-supported agriculture) share provided weekly drops of locally grown kine bud. In fact, Dragonfly Herbals does not deliver weed, but instead fresh and dried culinary and medicinal herbs, salves and custom tea blends made from local, organic and biodynamically grown herbs.
The cost of a bi-weekly basket between June and September is $150; call 614/315-3507 or e-mail email@example.com for details.
À la carte
You may recall reading about Denver-based specialty liquor producers Leopold Bros. in last year's Drink Guide (See "High Spirits," March 5, 2009). The outfit concocts a wide range of drinks including real fruit-infused whiskeys and authentic absinthe. Though also a singles mixer, here's a chance to sample some of these spirits with cheese and chocolate fondue: Reserve a $25 (includes tax/tip) spot at a 5:30 p.m. tasting on April 14 at the Melting Pot (30 A. E. Pikes Peak Ave.).