So it might not be the Globe, but Shakespeare in the Sangres, put on by the Westcliffe Center for the Performing Arts, promises theater that allows you to simultaneously eat a picnic dinner, languidly watch a play from the comfort of a folding chair, and not have to endure five acts of stifling silence from the audience. Romeo and Juliet starts at 6 tonight; at 6 tomorrow is Taming of the Shrew. Those two productions alternate through Sunday, and do the same thing the following weekend. Performances ($15) will be at the new outdoor amphitheater behind the Historic Jones Theater (119 Main St.). Visit jonestheater.com for more or call 719/783-3004. MR
Grammy-nominated comedian Lisa Lampanelli provides a reason to leave the house with her 8 p.m. performance at the Pikes Peak Center (190 S. Cascade Ave.). The actress has co-starred with Larry the Cable Guy and Owen Wilson and appeared on the Howard Stern Show and Comedy Central roasts among many other programs since she burst onto the comedy scene in 2002. Lampanelli entices her audiences with her barbed political incorrectness and her merciless jabs, earning her the title, "The Lovable Queen of Mean." (Like your mom.) Tickets, $33.75, are available at ticketswest.com and 520-7469. MM
I feel sorry for my cohorts this week, who signed up to write blurbs far less important than this one, about "one of the most amazing unfolding events in human history." That's right. I'm talking about alien abduction. And from 2 to 6 p.m. today at the Community for Spiritual Living (3685 Jeannine Drive), Stan Romanek will offer photographic proof (whatever that's worth in this age of CGI and Photoshop) and the story of his abductions, which apparently have been discussed on TV shows from Larry King Live to Late Show with David Letterman. A $5 donation is requested for entry; call 303/919-6532 or visit paranormalresearchforum.com for more on UFOs at large. MS
Our summers are full of special events, and two of the more unusual happen this weekend. Up in Cripple Creek, the 77th Donkey Derby Days starts with a steak dinner Friday night and continues with activities including burro races all day Saturday and Sunday. For a full schedule, go to cripple-creek.co.us. Manitou Springs, meanwhile, will "throw" its 18th annual Clayfest at Soda Springs Park (1016 Manitou Ave.), including professional and amateur competitions and workshops. The main events for Clayfest '08 will run all day Saturday, capped by a final workshop from 10 a.m. to noon Sunday. Find out all you need to know at clayfest.com. RR
Face the musical chairs of downtown parking this evening to hit a four-artist collaboration at Phantom Canyon Brewing Co. (2 E. Pikes Peak Ave.). Showcasing regulars from Manitou Springs' nontraditional WeUsOur Artist's Market, 8 Hands, which opened earlier this month, features the works of locals Tylan Troyer, Leovigildo Rivera, Jennifer Koen and Mark Wong. The show, which runs through July, spans media from pottery and black-and-white photography to paintings that use coffee as a medium. So take your Hefeweizen and steak with a local palette and Western flavor. For more information, call 685-9702 or visit myspace.com/weusour. MM
For those of you still disoriented from Saturday's UFO event, rest assured that no matter what MySpace phenom Sky Eats Airplane would have you believe, skies do not actually eat airplanes. Why, exactly, does the Fort Worth-based quintet want to perpetuate this disinformation? Ask them tonight, when they bring their so-called "hardcore/electronica/metal" to the Black Sheep (2106 E. Platte Ave., $12-$14, all ages). The band's debut album, Everything Perfect on the Wrong Day, is an odd clash of standard-issue aggro guitars and vocals with incongruous electronic filigrees that will have you tilting your head in confusion, just like dogs do when you show them a card trick. BF
Colorado College's annual summer Extraordinary Dance! festival kicked off Monday and runs through July 18, featuring a number of world-class performances. At 7 tonight, and every Wednesday, the festival will offer an informance - "a demonstrative performance followed by a detailed critique to take viewers behind the scenes a bit. "An Evening of Tribal Belly Danceis this week's show appearing in the Cornerstone Arts Center (825 N. Cascade Ave.). Entry costs $5; visit ticketswest.com or CC's Worner Desk for tickets and call 389-6098 for more. MS
This week's 7 Days contributors: Bill Forman, Mandy Moench, Maddie Rogers, Ralph Routon and Matthew Schniper.