- Um, sweetie, bikini contest means you have to be wearing it.
Hey, boobs! Get to the Soiled Dove (1949 Market St. in Denver) for an event worthy of the Spring Break Hall of Fame, Hot Body & Hot Music, presented by those purveyors of fine public arts events, Bud Light. This summer-long Thursday night series is graced tonight by Kinetix, a Denver-based rock/funk project, and includes a bikini contest, drink specials and more flesh than an abattoir. Yum! Best of all, it's free, which means your Jell-O shot hangover and subsequent burning urination are practically guiltless. For more, check out soileddove.com.
Stretch those listenin' ears of yours at Colorado College's Packard Hall (southwest corner of Cache La Poudre Street and Cascade Avenue) for the CC Vocal Art Symposium's The Scene Stealers. Although I don't condone stealing of any sort, I do recommend checking out the symposium's take on scenes from Il Tabarro, The Crucible, Quilters and Maria Stuarda, performed by students under the direction of soprano Martile Rowland. Tickets are $15 for the public, $10 with CC ID and $5 for students. Get yours at the Worner Center desk or call 389-6607.
Get out of the freakin' house tonight and go to someone else's house to see singer-songwriter Johnsmith. Last seen at Black Rose Acoustic Society's Open Stage, the lauded musician (he recently took Kerrville Folk Festival's New Folk Award) will be in an intimate environment, spinnin' yarns and singin' songs jam-packed with powerful, moving stories. (Beware: You will be moved. If you can't even deign to allow one ray of happiness and hope into that shriveled, frozen heart of yours, don't attend. You'll ruin it for everyone else.) It's going on at 8 p.m. at a sorta-undisclosed location, which you can learn by calling 659-5821. The cost is $12 in advance.
Rock out to a band with a name that's fun to pronounce: Abracastabya. The fab four of the Springs' own Stabya will be lulling the masses with their ever-evolving brand of experimental indie rock at Darkside (2106 E. Platte Ave.) tonight. The whole shebang starts at 7:30 and costs $7. That, ladies and gents, buys you a ticket to paradise, which includes Waking Ashland, A Novel Form and Once Before. Visit sodajerkpresents.com for tickets or more info.
- Are you challenging Abracastabya to a fight? I didnt think so.
Also at CC this weekend, check out centrist Republican lobbyist, consultant and first-term Bushie Christine Todd Whitman, presenting her new-ish book It's My Party Too. Having accidentally omitted the subtitle And I'll Cry If I Want To, the former EPA administrator and New Jersey governor gets to the roots of "social fundamentalists" in the far right of the GOP. At least that's what Amazon claims. She'll be signing and discussing the book as well as selling a boatload of 'em. The event is free and open to the public, and taking place at 6 p.m. at Armstrong Hall (northeast corner of Cache la Poudre Street and Cascade Avenue).
Dinner just isn't dinner without warbling. With that in mind, Buca di Beppo (7252 N. Academy Blvd.) hosts a Las Vegas-style dinner show courtesy of Randy Sinatra this evening. Plan on stuffing a four-course Italian meal down your craw while enjoying tunes popularized by Dean Martin, Elvis, Bobby Darin, Neil Diamond and, duh, Sinatra. Do not plan on trying to sing along while eating carbonara; you might choke, and "safety" is the key word here. The cost is $30, and it's happening from 6:30 until 9:30. For reservations, call 260-0444.
Kick back and relax this evening with some kinda-country at Hillside Gardens (1006 S. Institute St.), where Fort Collins rockers Neon Steven are busting an unplugged move or two. The partially Drag the River-alumnus-comprised trio plays what they call "country that listened to old Van Halen." Hmm. This is the last in Hillside's free summer concert series, so you'd be a complete schmuck to pass on this 6 p.m. show. Seriously, don't screw up. For more information, go to hillsideunplugged.com.
-- Aaron Retka and Kara Luger