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Damn, first Dio, then Gary Coleman, and now Dennis Hopper, too? It appears that old man Satan has been hard at work!

As has been Damian Burford at the Triple Nickel, who has once again outdone himself, pulling in the highly regarded Queens of the Stone Age side project, Mini Mansions, tonight, Thursday, June 3. [Editor's note: Don't forget to check out our interview with the band on p. 39.] ­Featuring QOTSA bassist Michael Shuman, along with cohorts Zach Dawes and Tyler Parkford, Mini Mansions play a Beatles-heavy blend of psychedelic freestyle keyboard pop.

Do you know who else listened to the Beatles? Satan!

For the region's legions of fans of the Unholy Trinity of Unearthly Awesome, or U.T.U.A. (that would be Tom Waits, Leonard Cohen and Nick Cave, naturally), former Springs inhabitants and current Minneapolis cellar-dwellers, The Funeral and the Twilight, will make a triumphant return to the Rocket Room this Saturday, June 5, with every intention to kill you. Metaphorically. With their music.

Their most recent release, an album entitled To Kill You, has the three-man spook show conjuring up some wonderfully wicked post-a"goth"alyptic boot-gaze music — falling dangerously into the murky chasm that separates Danzig from Morrissey.

Opening the night's oration shall be easily one of our greatest local noisemakers, enemyswim, and a fine bunch of "sweater kids" from Denver called Weed Diamond, whose unintelligibly lo-fi git/tar anthem "All of Denver Is Wasted" riffs like the Vaselines, and is true music to my ears. Plus, I went a whole paragraph without even mentioning Satan.

And speaking of Satan, Metalheads rejoice! It's not all keyboards, banjos, and tambourines this weekend as our Knights In Sunshine Studios (KISS, get it?!) present another one of their popular and plentiful all-day, all-ages showcases, the Roadhouse Metal Fest, Saturday June 5, starting at 11 a.m.

Sure to be fun for the whole fucking family, the day will include sets from more than a dozen of the Front Range's finest, including Force the Trigger, Bury Me in Alaska, Sonic Vomit, Recondite, Anchorage, Cry of a Giant, Morbid Remains, To the Last Bullet, Why Sinners Hate God, Deflycsiun, Silence of Versailles and One-Fifty-One. Not bad for a paltry $7. More info at

And a last-minute reminder to please drive safely again this weekend, as Friday through Sunday marks the Peak Scooter Club's 11th annual "Movin' On Up" vintage scooter rally.This year's ride, which is titled "Chapter 11" in honor of the spinal and moral fortitude of our elected government officials, marks thee longest-running scooter rally in the greatest state in the union (Colorado), and is expected to draw many a scooter hobbit out of their dimly lit caverns (read: taverns).

With this in mind, please keep an eye out for our two-wheeled friends. For a full schedule of rally events, including Saturday night's "Go! For Broke" Piano Warehouse blowout with Matterhorn, the Conjugal Visits and Thee Kissing Disease (featuring an unprecedented secret guest performer who I can personally guarantee will destroy everything you thought you knew about the Colorado Springs' music scene), please visit Satan commands you.

And I promise, next week, to knock it off with all the "Satan" jokes. Seriously, that dude is an asshole.

Smell you later.

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