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'There's something wrong today': Saul Hudson, aka Slash, does not play guitar on the new Guns 'n' Roses album.
  • 'There's something wrong today': Saul Hudson, aka Slash, does not play guitar on the new Guns 'n' Roses album.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone! Can you believe it? Thanksgiving in the summertime? Now I have seen everything! Well, this year I am thankful, of course, for my wonderful family and friends, and that the Indy still hasn't outsourced me to India (although I hear the rock scene in Calcutta is blowing up!), and that in just two short months our president will undoubtedly know how to read.

But do you want to know what I am really thankful for this year? I am really thankful that I am not Axl Rose!

Yeah, the "new" "Guns N' Roses" "record" finally hit "stores" Sunday (after only a dozen or so years of alleged existence), and, boy, was it "worth" the "wait!" In case you hadn't noticed, I'm being sarcastic. Man, does it blow! How do I describe it? "Too little, too late" is a good place to start, but come on ... I could have written much of this crap myself.

Take "Shackler's Revenge," for instance: "I got a funny feelin' / There's something wrong today / I got a funny feelin' / And it won't go away." Are you serious? And it just gets worse ... "I got an itchy finger / And there'll be hell to pay / I'm gonna pull the trigger / And blow them all away!" OMG! He's blowing me away, that's for sure. I once wrote a song with the line, "You gotta strike while the iron's hot / You better shit or get off the pot," but at least I had the sense to keep it to myself!

Now, I am not sayin' that Axl "Corn" Rows can't belt it out, or that his new batch of rockers can't totally wank off (or should I say, "wankers can't totally rock off") with the best of them, but something about it all just sucks. Maybe, just maybe, could it have something to do with Slash, Duff and Izzy having absolutely nothing to do with this pile?! Maybe. Oh well, G N' R.I.P. ... again.

On the subject of Thanksgiving funerals, a gathering will be held this Saturday, Nov. 29, in honor of the final days of WeUsOur Artist's Market (10 Ruxton Ave., Manitou Springs). After providing a much-needed outlet for the booming but beat-up "emerging artists" market, and advocating strongly for the IVAW (Iraq Veterans Against the War), WeUsOur will close at the end of the month.

To mark this most odiferous occasion, there will be one last hoorah featuring the Haunted Windchimes and the Jack Trades (or the Trade Winds, as the alliance has been called), as well as a smokin' set from Joe Johnson, a third-generation country/folk slinger from Picayune, Miss., who has recently taken root in Manitou. He'll play both solo and with the group Creating a Newsense. Rounding out the festivities is John Strelec, whose latest demo of indie/acoustic songs shows him to be a competent and spirited songwriter. Show up early, as there will surely be a full house.

And it's a full house at the Rocket Room over the weekend with a pair on Friday, Denver's Buck Wild and the 4H Royalty, and a pair on Saturday with Whiskey Throttle and the Chris Winters Show. The "wild card" comes Thanksgiving night with "Danse Macabre: Goth/Industrial Night," hosted by Blue Girl ... Happy Thanksgiving, indeed!

Lastly, if you need a night-time caffeine pick-me-up, the ManApes, Colorado Springs' pre-eminent simian space-rock experience, will lay down a supersonic set of "indie lounge groove" at the downtown Pikes Perk (14 S. Tejon St.) on Saturday night. Get your hands off me, you darn dirty ape!

Smell you next week!

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