Dole Svenby's "Captive" (in the median across from Josh and John's Ice Cream) vs. the foot of God that descends from the clouds in Monthy Python movies. As touching and metaphorically poignant as Svenby's concrete-box-prison-with-rebar-tree-escaping-from-a-hole-in-the-side may be, the foot of God is just too omnipotent for the "Captive" and crushes it mercilessly in upwards of two seconds.
Steve Wood's "Geologic Column" (on the northwest corner of Tejon and Bijou streets) vs. Pamela Anderson. Uh-huh-huh-huh, that guy's last name is Wood. And the sheer phallic-ness of his "Column" more than adequately bespeaks his name. This is a piece of public art only Pamela Anderson could contend with (though Robert Pinsky was a close runner-up with his new book of poems, The Want Bone). Sorry, Pamela, but Mr. Wood's column makes Tommy Lee look like a garden dwarf. It's a split decision, but the victory goes to Wood.
David McDonald's "Watcher" (on the west side of Tejon Street between Colorado Avenue and Pikes Peak Avenue) vs. poet Arthur Rimbaud. Despite the cryptic runes, stony base and all-out primitive look of McDonald's "Watcher," it just never had a chance against Rimbaud's all-out symbolic obtuseness and stony wit. TKO on account of utter indifference in the second round.
William Burgess' "Convolution" (south side of Pikes Peak Avenue between Cascade and Tejon) vs. Morrissey. "Convolution" spins around, but Morrissey reels around the fountain. "Convolution" shoves him on the patio, but Morrissey takes it slowly. This one goes all the way, but no matter how many ambiguous convolutions "Convolution" has, it just wasn't as convoluted and ambiguous as Morrissey. Morrissey brings the mope down in the ninth. Buh-bye.
Bill Noland's "Catbird Seat" (northwest corner of Tejon and Kiowa streets) vs. Regis Filbin. The mountain lion in Noland's "Catbird Seat" comes to life like how the gargoyles in Ghostbusters come to life when all the ghosts start coming to life and then they have to join the streams to defeat the giant Stay-Puff Marshmallow Man and there's marshmallow all over everyone ... or something. Anyway, the mountain lion totally shreds Regis' jugular and then eats his liver about two minutes into the first.
Now that the new crop of US Bank Art on the Streets has gone public, I decided to put a few to the test. Let's see how they stand up in a Public Art Celebrity Death Match.