Last week, 18-year old Clint Beedy called up KILO FM to ask for tickets to the upcoming Blink 182 rock concert. DJ Rick Roddam asked Clint if he was the son of Beedy and got an earful when he asked what the commish is really like. Apparently, Clint doesn't agree much with Mom.
Then Roddam, not exactly known for his delicate constitution, asked Beedy the Kid a series of raunchy questions about masturbation and getting laid, all of which the boy happily answered.
Roddam convinced Clint that if he put Mom on the phone for a little chat, he would hand over tickets to the upcoming concert. Beedy was a little out of her element, what with having to talk about pleasuring oneself and what would happen if she found her son doing drugs or with a girl in his room ("kick him out of the house").
Here's a snippet of the conversation, which was later broadcast:
KILO "So your kid is like one of those devil music listeners."
Beedy "Well, he's not supposed to be."
KILO "So you don't allow him to listen to this stuff?"
Beedy "Well, apparently he is."
KILO "I think he's gone behind your back."
Beedy "He probably is."
KILO "You know what I'd do?"
Beedy "What's that?"
KILO "I'd put him over my knee and spank him right now."
Beedy "Well he's turned 18, that's the problem."
KILO "You can't do that anymore."
KILO "Maybe you should kick him out of the house."
Beedy "Well I've thought about that."
KILO "Your kid wants tickets to Blink 182."
Beedy "What is Blink 182?
KILO "They are a rock band. I went to a Blink 182 concert and there were women exposing their breasts."
Beedy (Pause) "OK, I am not in favor of that."
KILO "Also Blink 182 -- they're a bunch of guys that run around naked."
KILO "Also I was at the band's world tour last year and I got the chance to go backstage last year and me and their drummer did shots of Jaggermeister."
Beedy "And what's that?"
KILO "It's an alcoholic beverage, kind of tastes like black licorice."
KILO So if you give permission, hell, I'll give the kid the tickets, and I'm sorry I said the word 'hell'."
Beedy "No, I have to say if it's that kind of a deal I don't want him going to it."
So much for the show. Beedy the Kid may be too old for a spanking but it's never too late for Momma to wash his mouth out with soap.
McDonald's, Burger King and Frito-Lay don't want to have anything to do with fake corn and potatoes, and a growing number of Americans don't either. We may not be the most agitating of activists, but a growing number of Americans have joined people from around the globe in denouncing the biogenetically engineered food as potentially unsafe and devastating for the environment.
But not Colorado Gov. Bill Owens. The guv, it seems, likes the idea of eating spuds with a built-in pesticide. So much so that Owens proclaimed May 23 as "Biotechnology Day" in Colorado.
"Biotechnology is increasingly important to the research and development of medical, agricultural, industrial and environmental products," Owens said in a prepared statement that was issued by the Colorado Farm Bureau. "Biotechnology contributes to crop yields and farm productivity and enhances the quality, value and suitability of crops for food and other uses critical to America's agricultural ailments."
Owens' sudden scientific expertise is impressive. And it's not surprising that the Colorado Farm Bureau wants the world to believe that genetically altered foods are safe, safe safe.
After all, as the New York Times reported last month, U.S. farmers have sustained a serious financial blow after they agreed to plant and harvest genetically engineered crops so quickly. In 1996, the U.S. sold $3 billion worth of corn and soybeans to Europe. Last year, those exports had shrunk to $1 billion -- a $2 billion loss.
And, the giant bio-conglomerates that are pushing the altered seeds, including Monsanto and DuPont, got their money from the farmers. So it is the farmers who have taken the hit, not the ag biotech firms.
Still, last week the Farm Bureau accused people who are concerned about negative effects on their health and environment of falling victim to "scare tactics."
"American farmers are having a hard time understanding what the fuss is all about with the new crops we are producing," said American Farm Bureau Federation President Bob Stallman in a release. "They offer many production advantages and are friendly to the environment."
The proof is in their pocketbooks.