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Marijuana review: XJ-13


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  • Baynard Woods
  • XJ-13

Trying new things can be scary. Here's a guide to a strain that you may want to ignite soon. Happy toking.

As a country, we're all a little shell-shocked these days. It's not just the election of Donald Trump, gassing in Syria, nukes in North Korea, a shaky economy, a dying planet and other recent events. I mean, if you're 21, the country has been at war for most of your life. Then there's all the normal shit that has afflicted us since we started walking on two legs — love and sex and scrounging up enough food and dealing with our families and all of that.

I'd long heard rumors that XJ-13 was a strain developed by the CIA or something. In fact, the strain is a combination of the medicinal staple Jack Herer and the super potent G-13 Haze hybrid. But still, if you were a politician or technocrat wanting to help people deal with the insane stress of our world and remain productive, you would give out a free gram of XJ-13 to every person every day.

Norman Ohler's recent book Blitzed shows how the Nazi regime was fueled by methamphetamine. The book has been received with a kind of wonder — just prescribing speed to the whole country like that. But, look at all the Ritalin (methylphenidate) and Adderall (amphetamine salts) fueling our own society. We give speed to children to calm them down!

So let's get real. XJ-13 for all is not going to fuel the next mass genocide. Rather, it would chill us enough to avoid it. And be a huge boost to the economy and to farmers. Clearly, that's not going to happen. But it shows how highly I esteem this strain. It feels like it is good for you and it tastes beautiful. It's the perfect match of euphoria and energy, relaxed and ready to go.

Strength: 7

Nose: A summer field, with a hint of crotch and blooming Bradford pear, without the gross elements of either

Euphoria: 9

Existential Dread: 2

Freaking Out When Crazy Person Approaches You: 1

Drink Pairing: A nip of bourbon, straight from the bottle in the desk drawer

Music Pairing: A Tribe Called Quest, "We the People"


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