Columns » Kenneth Cleaver

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent


Kohler Plumbing

444 Highland Drive

Kohler, WI 53044

Dear Kohler Plumbing:

From desperate post-playground emergencies, to the intestinal payback of bacchanalian beer bingeing, Kohler toilets have always been there for me in my times of need. Permit me to express my appreciation with the following idea.

Many associate stage fright with the theatre of the bedroom. However, an arguably more pervasive version of this problem occurs at urinals everywhere. Men, author included, find themselves frustrated in their efforts to release due to the proximity of another man similarly engaged.

While many urinals are equipped with privacy blinds, the seclusion they offer is often inadequate. To facilitate bladder relaxation, witness the urinal helmet illustrated below. Through sounds, images and aromas, the urinator is transported into a safe and tranquil haven: A place where no man would ever consider sneaking a glance at his neighbor's flaccid penis (for that's always the fear) or notice the amount of time he has spent without producing a single drop of pee. Inside the helmets are kaleidoscopic images of waterfalls, rolling meadows and banner advertisements for cigarettes, alcohol and automobiles.

Kohler Plumbing has a unique opportunity not only to solve a widespread male problem, but also to rake in significant advertising revenue. I hope you will take advantage.


Kenneth H. Cleaver Read the Response.

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