Mr. John Rother
Officer of Policy & Strategy
American Association of Retired Persons
601 E Street NW
Washington, DC 20049
Dear Mr. Rother:
My father is throwing in the towel. He has a lot of questions about aging and retirement but he's too embarrassed to ask, so he's pawned it off on me. Actually, I offered to do it. I need to borrow money and this is a painless way to gain his good favor.
The questions are more or less in his words. They are as follows:
When will the buffet food start to taste good?
At what point will hiking my pants to breast-level seem like a good idea?
What is the preferred form of salutation: Huh? or What?
At what age do fanny packs become mandatory?
What if I don't like Florida?
Will they still make movies about old people learning to love again?
What's all the fuss about Viagra?*
Should I start complaining now?
The old man will really appreciate your answers. And so will I.
*If you answer nothing else, please answer this question.