Mr. Chris Simcox
The Tombstone Tumbleweed
PO Box 1579
Tombstone, AZ 85638
Dear Mr. Simcox:
Thank you, thank you, thank you for defending our nation's southern border. You and your Minutemen comrades are the essence of modern patriotism!
Just knowing that nearly 150 retirees in lawn chairs are guarding the Arizona border made me sleep easy during these troubled days. Surely no itinerant farm worker or day laborer squeaked through on your watch!
If my car's bumper was not already filled with stars and stripes and the likeness of a popular comic strip character defecating, I'd certainly post a sticker devoted to the glories of your movement.
Just one question: I'm very angry but I don't live in a border state. Could you please provide me with a few convenient punching bags for my impotent rage?