Columns » Kenneth Cleaver

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent

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May 11, 2005

Mr. Steve Kaczynski

Senior Vice President of Merchandising & Marketing

Wild Oats Markets, Inc.

3375 Mitchell Lane

Boulder, CO 80301

Dear Mr. Kaczynski:

When I'm in your stores I often ask, Where's the Captain Crunch?

People look at me like I just shat out a jackalope. But the question still stands: Where is the Captain Crunch?

While I'm at it, where's the Count Chocula, Lucky Charms, Cocoa Puffs, Frosted Flakes, Apple Jacks and Trix? And when did it become socially acceptable to name a cereal Peanut Butter Panda Puffs?

Damn hippies.

I hope you don't think you're too good for Captain Crunch? Because that'd be ironic since I often think I'm not good enough for it. However, that issue is probably best left to my team of life coaches.

In closing: What's up with the non-Captain Crunch action?

Sincerely,

Kenneth Cleaver

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