Columns » Kenneth Cleaver

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent

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Mr. Roger K. Deromedi

Chief Executive Officer

Kraft Foods Inc.

Three Lakes Drive

Northfield, IL 60093-2753

Dear Mr. Deromedi:

I'm delighted to see the Kool-Aid Man has finally decided to wear pants. It's about time.

I always found it unsettling how, in his fervor to please children, Mr. Kool-Aid would willingly destroy private property. Couple this with his emphasis on fruity flavors, and the agenda was quite clear.

Now that he's wearing pants, I can let the fruit thing slide. I don't suppose we could put a shirt on him, though?

Moving forward, you wouldn't happen to know anyone at Frito-Lay? Their Chester Cheetah is promoting a decadent lifestyle I find as objectionable as John Kerry's.

Thanks so much for your help.

Sincerely,

Kenneth H. Cleaver

This letter was sent to several key members of Kraft's executive team.

Read the Response.

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