P.O. Box 1034
Colorado Springs, CO 80901
December 8, 2004
Ms. Cindy Bradley
Vice President of Learning
601 North Lamar
Austin, Texas 78703
Dear Ms. Bradley:
I shop at Whole Foods for several reasons: excellent free samples, lack of fluorescent lighting and the high traffic in fecund women between the ages of 24 and 42.
I do not shop at Whole Foods because of the savings. I won't whine to you about this because it's boring. I will whine to you about something else.
Let's face it: There's a certain amount of social capital that comes with being a Whole Foods patron. To me, it conveys the following: I think a lot about myself and if it costs more, well, it's probably for a good reason and by gum, I deserve it.
Let's not debate this point. Let's just assume I'm right.
Because marketers can't possibly pander to me hard enough, I'd like Whole Foods to buck prevailing checkout counter trends. Instead of cashiers informing me of my savings, they should go with something like this:
Thanks for shopping at Whole Foods. You spend $20 more than you had to, but my God you're beautiful! You are so beautiful and though we can't back this up with any evidence, the extra money will pay off down the line in a richer quality of life. Paper or plastic?
That's what I need. That's what I want. Can you make this happen? I'd like to know.