Columns » Kenneth Cleaver

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent

Kenneth H. Cleaver

P.O. Box 1164

Burlington, VT 05402

August 14, 2004

Lake Champlain Fish & Wildlife Resources Office

11 Lincoln Street

Essex Junction, Vermont 05452-3151

To Whom It May Concern:

Last Sunday, I was driving on Route 100 near Granville. On the side of the road I encountered a distraught-looking man standing beside his Ford Explorer. He was middle aged, decked out in khaki shorts, collared shirt and open-toed sandals. I asked what was wrong and he said he'd just flattened a squirrel. Indeed, an ex-rodent was lying prostrate near the double yellow lines.

I offered my condolences while noting his bumper stickers: Bush-Cheney 04, My Boss is a Jewish Carpenter and My President is Charlton Heston. I don't mean to be rude sir, I asked. But what kind of NRA man cries over a squirrel?

The fellow chuckled through his tears and then it hit me.

Sir, are you are you a Compassionate Conservative?'

With that the man scurried into his SUV, did a screeching pullout and sped south. What I'd like to know is NOT whether I saw an extremely rare species. Clearly I did.

What I'd like to know is whether there have been similar encounters in the area. I have good binoculars, a lot of patience and would love to observe compassionate conservatives in their natural habitat before they're obliterated entirely.

Please advise.


Kenneth H. Cleaver

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