P.O. Box 1034
Colorado Springs, CO 80901
September 24, 2004
Mr. Gary Ojendyk
General Manager of Merchandising
999 Lake Drive
Issaquah, WA 98027
Dear Mr. Ojendyk:
I understand Costco is now selling caskets for $799. This appeals to me on many levels.
I like the idea of picking out my own box and owning it. I like knowing that my progeny won't have to go through the agonizing dilemma of not wanting to drop seven grand on a piece of landfill, yet not wanting to appear cheap. The problem is that keeping a coffin around the house is creepy. If you're a single man, it's just not something you'd want to bring a lady friend home to. Know what I mean?
So what I'm thinking is a Coffin Table. You know, like a coffee table. Something that, with a few quick adjustments, can sit disguised in your living room for a lifetime -- literally!
I realize this means death will require the sudden purchase of a replacement coffee table. But I just don't think that's as emotionally trying as casket shopping. Unless, of course, you're shopping with my mother, but that's another story.
I'd have included a design sketch, but I'm a hopeless artist. While recognizing that unsolicited ideas are not considered by many companies, I think this one really has a chance. Don't you?