P.O. Box 1034
Colorado Springs, CO 80901
March 14, 2004
Ms. Sara Mirelez
Brand Manager, Aspen Edge
Coors Brewing Company
311 10th Street
Golden, CO 80401
Dear Ms. Mirelez:
I'm quite concerned about your new low-fat beer Aspen Edge.
As a drinker who holds membership in a highly coddled market demographic, I implore you not to forsake the tried and true tradition of marketing beer via hairless, tan, bikini babes.
I realize this may conflict with some drinkers concerned with counting carbs. You know, the haute microbrew set who fancy themselves above lurid displays of untenable female beauty.
At a time of so much cultural flux, it's comforting for men like me to retreat into mindless sexism. This is why I never miss an episode of The Man Show, where two overgrown frat boys assure me that bouncing babes and fart jokes will never go out of style. This is why I subscribe to Maxim magazine. This is why I am so disturbed by Queer Eye for The Straight Guy and its foreboding implication that women will soon expect me not only to use product, but also to grill asparagus in an aesthetically pleasing manner.
Please don't leave me to the wolves. Please make sure Aspen Edge's brand lifestyle will not deviate from beer tradition.