P.O. Box 810
Bedford, NY 10506
November 27, 2002
Dr. Kristin Kassaw
Assistant Professor of Psychiatry
Baylor College of Medicine
One Baylor Plaza
Houston, TX 77030
Dear Dr. Kassaw:
Thank you for your recent press release advising me not to shop for the holidays while intoxicated. You'll be delighted to know that I shopped sober and early.
However, according to this same press release, you allege that using alcohol to loosen up' before an event like the office holiday party can lead to embarrassing situations when you say or do things you later regret.
Following your advice, I decided to refrain from libations at a recent office brouhaha. As an alternative, I dropped a hefty dose of Ecstasy.
As my friend David belatedly informed me, E only works when a majority of partygoers are on it. Thanks to your inchoate advice, I spent the evening fondling a leather jacket while telling my boss and his fiance how much I loved them as people.
In the future, I hope you will issue more complete warnings about other substances that can have disastrous social consequences around the holiday season.