P.O. Box 1034
Colorado Springs, CO 80904
November 1, 2003
P.F. Chang's China Bistro
Attn: Customer Service
15210 North Scottsdale Road, Suite 300
Scottsdale, AZ 85254
Dear P.F. Chang's:
I recently had lunch at your Colorado Springs establishment. As far as lunches go, it was all right. This had a lot to do with the fact that: A. I wasn't paying, B. My boss was distracted so the time I clocked out of the office went unnoticed, and C. The hostess was hot! hot! hot!
Actually, she was a bit young for me. While young is OK, I don't do nave. Had a bad experience a few years back that found me waking up in a strange bedroom complete with un-ironic Titanic poster and a framed photograph depicting a basketful of kittens.
That was an awkward morning for me.
At any rate, you might have noticed that I didn't cite the food as a perk of my lunch. It was OK, but really: I could've had the same meal for five dollars less at a more traditional Chinese restaurant. And by more traditional, I mean one that employed actual Chinese people.
Pass my regards on to your hostess, who I must commend on her use of a black one-piece sleeveless dress and an enchanting strawberry lip balm.
I don't want to creep her out so let's just tell her I'm gay.