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Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent

Kenneth H. Cleaver

P.O. Box 1034

Colorado Springs, CO 80904

November 1, 2003

P.F. Chang's China Bistro

Attn: Customer Service

15210 North Scottsdale Road, Suite 300

Scottsdale, AZ 85254

Dear P.F. Chang's:

I recently had lunch at your Colorado Springs establishment. As far as lunches go, it was all right. This had a lot to do with the fact that: A. I wasn't paying, B. My boss was distracted so the time I clocked out of the office went unnoticed, and C. The hostess was hot! hot! hot!

Actually, she was a bit young for me. While young is OK, I don't do nave. Had a bad experience a few years back that found me waking up in a strange bedroom complete with un-ironic Titanic poster and a framed photograph depicting a basketful of kittens.

That was an awkward morning for me.

At any rate, you might have noticed that I didn't cite the food as a perk of my lunch. It was OK, but really: I could've had the same meal for five dollars less at a more traditional Chinese restaurant. And by more traditional, I mean one that employed actual Chinese people.

Pass my regards on to your hostess, who I must commend on her use of a black one-piece sleeveless dress and an enchanting strawberry lip balm.

I don't want to creep her out so let's just tell her I'm gay.


Kenneth Cleaver

click here to read P.F. Chang's response

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