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Dutch Racer makes you feel like you’re less of an ass

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Dutch Racer can make you temporarily better at stuff, but you're still gonna be you. - BAYNARD WOODS
  • Baynard Woods
  • Dutch Racer can make you temporarily better at stuff, but you're still gonna be you.

In the summer of 2000, I went to Groningen, Holland, for a conference on the ancient novel. I was presenting a paper on the Roman novel The Golden Ass by Apuleius. I’ve been thinking a lot of that remarkable novel lately as I’ve been smoking the nearly pure Sativa Dutch Racer.

I don’t think it’s because of the fact that it’s a Dutch strain, and I talked to a bunch of people about the book nearly 20 years ago. It’s more like the spirit of the book has lingered so long, in the way the weed induces certain recursive thoughts. In the novel, the narrator goes to Thessaly on business. He gets involved in a sexual scenario and, because of a witch, becomes a donkey. It’s a great narrative device because, since he’s a donkey, no one hesitates to talk freely around him. But eventually he manages to eat a rosebud, which is the cure for his asinine shape. And he joins the cult of Isis.

I think I’ve been thinking about the book because I feel like an ass a lot of the time and a Sativa like Dutch Racer helps me feel human and competent again. Isn’t that the ultimate high, to be competent at life? To be human while recognizing all the non-human life around you? This gorgeously crystalline strain with an odor of Meyer lemons and hyacinth about it incites a dutiful and buzzy wakefulness that, after the initial stoned impulse, does manage to make you feel more accomplished without you really noticing too much that you’re even high. But things are better. No, you feel like you are better at things. And there isn’t really a heavy comedown to leave you feeling tattered and tired at all. It’s like it just changes from intense focused stoned to a more diffuse, less-stoned sense of awareness.

If you smoke more, like the time I smoked a second bowl by myself, it still doesn’t go too far in the Sativa-paranoia direction — but it can get you there as the energy seems to concentrate behind the eyes with a thrumming insistence that comes right to the edge of fear-inducing, and then, though, it gives you a high-five. It’s like a real-life equivalent of an overamped teammate getting in your face and yelling encouragement.

The flavor, when fired, contains the essence of autumn — the hauntings of all the first fires you’ve ever roasted marshmallows over.



Medicinally, it is the rosebud that can turn your asinine self back into a better version. And the bud is a better version of pot. But you are still you and the only way to be better is to be better.

Strength: 7
Nose: Hyacinth, Meyer lemons, wet newspaper
Euphoria: 8
Existential dread: 4
Freaking out when a crazy person approaches you: 0
Drink pairing: Water
Music pairing: “Kick Out the Jams” by MC5

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