To Bush: I understand why you went to war with Iraq -- cause Saddam Hussein tried to kill your father, you know. You are doing a great job, but I think you've got us a problem.
To Kerry: You're a great war hero because you saved peoples lives, but then you turned around and dumped on your country when you started protesting.
To Nader: Nader? I don't know nothing about him.
To Bush: Who died and gave you the right to dictate how the world is run? What right do you have to do what you're doing?
To Kerry: America expects bigger and better things from someone who has claimed as much as you have and wants to take George Bush's place.
To Nader: He came into a market where I was working this summer, so I would say, "Thanks for shopping and supporting local business!"
To Bush: You bit off a lot more than you could chew with that war. And you gotta take better care of the economy -- the job situation is getting real bad out there.
To Kerry: It's been long enough in Iraq. I think he'd bring the Army home -- I don't like war much.
To Nader: Ha ha ha! No comment.
Passing through town
To Bush: I would probably just grab him by the shoulders and try to shake some sense into him. Though it's not going to be easy. I would tell him to end this war and have a little more concern for the environment.
To Kerry: Stick up for yourself a little more, and keep your stories straight! Try to get out of Iraq, though I know that won't be easy for anyone to do. Give more money to public programs, help for the poor. Give more money to public education.
To Nader: Definitely stand by your principles.
Passing through town
To Bush: Where has all the money gone? Why have so many innocent people died? You're leading this country toward another depression; your whole administration is based on lies and greed and corporate corruption; you're responsible for the deaths of many Americans, Afghanis and Iraqis who have never done anything; and you've been a terrible president -- at least the worst in this century. And I'm not votin' for ya!
To Kerry: I don't quite agree with all your policies, but I'm voting for ya 'cause I don't want Bush in office. I hope that you won't continue on the same path of misleading the people.
To Nader: Man, I wish I could vote for ya, but I really want to make my vote count this time.