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Middle of Nowhere (R)

Image Entertainment

Adventureland was one of the worst movies of 2009, so it would only make sense for it to be ripped off a year later, right? Vampiric Anton Yelchin is the trademarked movie teen who "no one understands," sent to live with his disciplinarian uncle. He's set up with a job at a water park, but sells weed on the side, because, you know, it's quirky. He's aided by Eva Amurri, who needs to collect $12,000 to pay for college because she was denied student loans due to her mom (played by real-life mom Susan Sarandon) taking out credit cards in her name when she was 14. Actually, this movie is almost worth watching for Sarandon, the most unlikable mom since Mo'Nique in Precious. But even she's not quite enough. You'd think that director John Stockwell, who has ham-fistedly delved into poor-little-rich-kid fare before would have outgrown this nonsense by now. Louis Fowler


The Red Shoes: Criterion Collection (NR) (Blu-ray)

Image Entertainment

It doesn't get more classic, beautiful or must-own than The Red Shoes. Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger's masterpiece about an up-and-coming ballerina (Moira Shearer) caught in a love triangle between a composer and a possessed company owner (who wants Shearer for her art, the desires of her heart be damned), is one of those rare films that deserves to be updated, cleaned and kissed every decade or so. (Just ask Martin Scorsese, who cannot complete a sentence without referring to the film.) And that's just what Criterion is here for; the keepers of the art-house flame released a near-pristine version in 1999 and on laserdisc before that. Now it's on Blu-ray, with an intro by Scorsese plus audio commentary, interviews, a gallery from Scorsese's memorabilia collection, readings by Jeremy Irons and more. Justin Strout


Crush (R)

Phase 4 Films

A few years back, there was a glut of lovelorn-psycho-Lolita flicks, ranging from Poison Ivy and The Crush to Swimfan, where a popular stud gives in to temptation and has a one-night stand with a mentally unbalanced young lady. She, of course, thinks they're meant to be together forever, and ends up killing anyone who gets in their way. Now, Australia's Crush manages to clumsily mix all those elements into the pot, then collapses totally under the weight of its own silliness once an out-of-nowhere, totally nonsensical supernatural angle is introduced in the third act. I give filmmakers John V. Soto and Jeff Gerritsen points for trying something new to enliven this tired formula, but between the flat, boring direction and the lack of both charisma and likability in lead man Christopher Egan, it's best to just take a cold shower. Louis Fowler

Eyeborgs (R)

Image Entertainment

If you can get past the made-for-SyFy title, Eyeborgs is actually one of the best science-fiction actions films of the past 10 years. While the story of robots gaining sentience and turning on their human creators is old hat, Eyeborgs takes the idea and mixes in a truly prophetic, anti-government stance, revealing a future that could be only days away. In an effort to curb terrorism, the Department of Homeland Security institutes the all-seeing Optical Defense Intelligence Network, by which every American is monitored at all times — for their own good, of course. These mobile cameras, nicknamed "eyeborgs," are all part of a plot to instill fear in citizens and to help the government overthrow oil-rich countries. Sound familiar? Throughout history, science fiction has always been the harbinger of things to come, and Eyeborgs is unsettlingly close to becoming science-fact. Louis Fowler

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