I take you back now some 15 years to the reign of County Commissioner Betty Beedy. When they made ol' Betty, people said, they broke the mold. And just to make sure it didn't happen again, they beat the hell out of the mold-maker.
Betty, the most famous resident of Calhan, was in office from 1996 to 2000. During her stint she repeatedly shocked one group of people, a group commonly referred to as "people who have a brain." She kicked off the four-year Idiot Festival by saying all single mothers who date are "sluts" who "hop" from one bed to another — like slutty, hoppy frogs or kangaroos or something.
Then Betty went on a national TV show and, while talking with African-American Star Jones, used the phrase "normal, white Americans."
When Betty departed, she left us with some very big and ignorant shoes to fill. Today, I believe our Cinderella has arrived.
Meet Peggy Littleton.
I am not making up this actual sentence that gurgled out of her mouth in late January during a rant about President Obama, saying he is secretly helping to create Muslim charter schools that teach our kids to hate America:
"They are schools, at least overseas, and I don't know for any fact, and I want to make sure we are clear on this, that I am not saying that they do this in the United States, that oversees Turkey, from the research that I have done, that they are very open about inculcating Muslim principles in their schools."
What our newly elected commissioner was trying to say, perhaps, in that "sentency thing," is that schools in Turkey, which I don't believe is related in any way to the Thanksgiving bird, the country is 99.8 percent Muslim and, I am not saying they do this, in say, Canada, but in Turkey they teach Muslims about, well, Muslim things.
And now these schools are cropping up in America and, Peggy says, their teachers "are telling our kids, telling the kids of the United States of America, hate Americans."
So who the heck is Peggy Littleton? I personally have no idea. I do know she's a Republican and has that magic tea party aura about her. And she will solve all of our county problems such as potholes in our roads by talking about Muslims.
There she was at the Educational Policy Conference in St. Louis, at a podium with a big sign that read "Constitutional Coalition," two pretty big words to be using in a room filled with people who like to crush empty beer cans against their foreheads.
And then, God bless us, Peggy started to talk. Her rant, captured on camera by ThinkProgress, was about so-called "Gülen charter schools" based on the teachings of Turkish educator and author Fethullah Gülen. (At the podium she even went out of her way to spell his last name incorrectly, saying, slowly, "G-u-l-a-n" so the rest of the dimwits could cling to yet another shred of bad information.)
Here now, Commissioner Peggy talking about, well, whatever the hell she was talking about: "Now we're gonna go on to some of the uh, things, I think you need to be aware of that are really alarming that are out there," Peggy told the group, launching into an endless explanation, "just my own personal opinion without any factual data to back it up," about Obama supporting more charter schools, and how she thinks "he's doing that because of these Gülen schools."
Then Peggy paused to breathe, her long rambling statement having depleted the supply of air that she usually stores in her head.
I will close with another excerpt from Commissioner Peggy during a post-rambling-talk interview. To keep yourself awake, see if you can find the words "sneaking creep."
"I do think [Obama administration members] intentionally — and again, this is my own opinion — but I think that they probably intentionally had already thought through how they could have a proliferation and a sneaking creep, if you will, of Gülen schools," she said, "um, by embedding their acceptance and even promotion of charter schools under this new, you know, wonderful thing of Race to the Top. Let's, you know, fund the schools this way even though there's not really the direct funding source."
Frankly, it makes me miss the old days when the village idiot only talked about normal, white Americans. And sluts.