Place to be Seen
A recent cell phone conversation overheard on Tejon Street: Oh my God, dude. I'm, like, totally pumped for tonight. I'm totally gonna be seen! Ha ha, I know!
Like, I couldn't be more stoked. Not even if I were a fire! Get it? No? That's cool. No, seriously! Hey, you are NOT a meathead, bro. Don't say that.
Wait so what are we doing tonight? HAHAHAHA! LIKE YOU DIDN'T ALREADY KNOW!
We're hitting up Tejon, dude! Gonna see some people! Totally GET seen, too. That's just how we roll, brah! Yeah, you knew that! HAHAHAHA!
I mean, that's why I even bother to come downtown in the first place, right? Well, that and the free parking after 6 at night. That's freakin' kick-ass!
So, yeah, man, hurry up and get down here! What? No, I already am! Already parked in my spot in front of the Ritz! Yeah, that one! I KNOW!
Dude, people are already looking over at me leaning on the hood of my whip. They're totally talking about how fly I am. I know. I'm totally being seen right now. Yeah, I know. It DOES rock!
But seriously, why wouldn't I be seen? I spent, like, all afternoon at the gym, dude! Yeah, 24 Hour Fitness! My pecs and shoulders are like totally pumped! I don't use the juice, but it totally looks like it, right? I know!
So, you're coming out, right? We'll totally get seen. Trust. People are gonna stare at us, like, all night. Oh yeah. High-five? OVER-THE-PHONE HIGH-FIVE, BUDDY! YEAH!!!
Dude, some girl walking out of Starbucks just saw that. She's, like, totally into it. No, I swear she is! Get down here, man!
Anyway, here's the plan: I'm thinking we get things rolling at, like, Tony's, or something up north first that's a cool place to hang. Then we can head down to Oscar's, maybe a chill a bit. Grab a drink at Nosh in between? You know it! Then head to Southside Johnny's for a brew before we really get going, right? Yeah, that does sound pretty rock-star. We'll be seen everywhere.
Then maybe play some darts at McCabe's next, and then head up to the Parrot and take in some cover tunes. Dude, I hope they play some Matchbox Twenty. "Semi-Charmed Life" is, like, still my favorite song.
Yes, it is by them! I swear! Whatever, man, people are totally gonna see me singing along and jumping up and down with my fist in the air. I won't even spill a drop of beer. It's gonna be like that Heineken commercial! People are gonna be so impressed.
They'll be like, "Whoa, do you see that guy?" And I won't even turn around or smile even though I know they're freakin' blown away by me.
Next, we can head up to Rendezvous and grab a martini. Or maybe to Jose's for a margh. Or another beer at Old C's? Dude, I don't care, we ARE the party! People will follow us anywhere. You know we're ending up down at the Vue, though, right? Right! We'll take it easy though. No rush, I know. Yeah, they're open 'til 4 in the morning. So we can hit up Rum Bay first. Get our dance on, y'know? No? That's cool, man, we can just kick it by the fire upstairs at Blondie's. Yeah, I know. It totally feels like New York City in there.
Yeah, we'll be seen there! You bet we will! We'll be seen everywhere!
(Loud crash noise.)
Some a-hole just ran his car into mine! This freakin' blows! I know!
Hold on, man. Hold on. I'm totally gonna chew this guy out. Yeah, I know! He totally deserves it!
Hey! Hey, buddy! Yeah, YOU! What, you didn't see me here? I've been parked here since 6! EVERYONE has seen me!
What? Oh, c'mon! HOW COULD YOU NOT SEE ME HERE! I MEAN, LOOK AT ME!" Pete Freedman