by Bill Forman
Gizmodo and AOL News are reporting it as real, the Daily Telegraph has its doubts, and Morrissey has yet to make a statement.
Meatwater, a high-concept concoction with flavors ranging from Hungarian goulash to haggis, has been creating a new wave of interest across the Internet these past couple of days.
Of course, urban legends have a long track record, from Charles Fort's rain of frogs to Justin Bieber's recurring deaths. And as far as we can tell, Meatwater is one of them, in spite of New York artist Till Krautkramer's wonderfully elaborate promotional campaign.
In fact, we're not even sure Krautkramer himself exists, although if he does, the family name would clearly predispose him to this kind of enterprise.
Since the Meatwater meme has been floating around for a couple of years now, this current ripple of publicity is kind of mysterious and seems largely unrelated to the recent introduction of four new products called Meatwater Void. As you've surely guessed, it's a new line of salad-flavored vitamin waters.
You can go to the dinnerinabottle website to enjoy all facets of the the Meatwater experience, which prompted our own food writer Matt Schniper to exclaim, "I'd try every flavor!" Sadly, nowhere among the elaborate promotional materials, videos and sponsor links (including one to Krautkramer's fine art photography portfolio) is any information on how to actually buy it.
It's all pretty brilliant, but the best lines are definitely in the pdf of standard answers to common questions you'll find lurking in the press section:
Will it be in health shops or normal beverage outlets?
Gas stations are our main outlet, besides galleries and regular beverage markets. Health shops not so much.
What, in simple language, are you recommending as the best way to take this drink? For example, how much in one go, how many times a day, week etc?
This is a difficult question, as so much is situational, and the context of any scenario may be more or less important than the scenario itself. We do not encourage our privileged consumers to stop eating solid food completely. We attempt to inspire them to host dinner parties for friends and family at least three times a week.
Can you successfully grow a tongue-in-cheek brand or is this going to remain a novelty product?
Anyone can do anything they want with a water product. You can sell any liquid as long as it doesn't kill somebody. It's all a matter of taste whether anyone will buy. In fact, it could taste terrible and people would buy the water if it they think that something that tastes god-awful is something more 'real.' Astronauts drink reprocessed urine. Space programs need to reduce water weight in space crafts. We aspire higher.