Well, if Santa wasn’t scary enough before, now they’ve turned him green.
In a stunning display of marketing irony, the reindeer-driving, elf-exploiting, candy-cane-throne-sitting God of Holiday Overconsumption has joined the sustainability movement. At the Promenade Shops at Briargate, eco-conscious parents can teach their tots about the joys of materialism and the joys of recycling at the same time with a visit to Green Santa, brought to you by Colorado Springs Utilities and the letter Y.*
On Saturday, Dec. 4, Green Santa will be roving the shopping center from noon to 4 p.m., posing for photos and dispensing eco-friendly holiday wisdom. The following Friday, he’ll set up for photo shoots inside Furniture Connection, where each child gets his or her very own energy-saving CFL light bulb (in lieu of the traditional candy cane, perhaps?).
If I find myself in need of a dose of that saintly holiday feeling, I won’t be paying a visit to an AARP member who likes to cosplay as a fourth-century Turkish bishop**, however small his carbon footprint. Instead, I’ll probably head over to the Bonfils Blood Drive, which is also happening Dec. 4 at the Promenade Shops. Drop-ins are welcome from 10:30 a.m. to 2:30 p.m., but you can also call 303/363-2300 or 800/365-0006 to make an appointment ahead of time.
As Indy reporter J. Adrian Stanley (who used to work in an ER) will tell you, the winter holidays are the worst time of year for accidents and injuries. Why not give your kids an object lesson in “giving of yourself”?
Call me a Grinch if you like, but I’m not the one who’s green.
* As in, “Y did the marketing department at CS Utilities decide to get high before coming to work?”
** Fun fact: Saint Francis of Assisi is actually the patron saint of the environment. According to Wikipedia, Saint Nicholas gets children, sailors, merchants, broadcasters, the falsely accused, prostitutes, repentant thieves, pharmacists, archers and pawnbrokers. No wonder he hires a bunch of doppelgangers every Christmas.