by Kirk Woundy
Culture editor Matthew Schniper wanted to share a story from the road, presumably because what happened to him could happen to you — if you're a guy with a shaved head, or a woman with dark brown hair, who's traveling through the West in a mid-1990s Nissan Sentra. (You know who you are.)
While driving through Yellowstone on the first leg of his vacation a couple days ago, Matt noticed a police cruiser following him. Then another. And another. He managed to drive for 45 minutes without getting pulled over, but finally wound up edging to 36 mph in a 35-mph zone. The sirens and lights went on, he stopped his car, and the first policeman got out — hand on his holster.
After a slow approach, the guy finally relaxed a little. Turns out that up close, Matt and his girlfriend Sam look "10 years younger" (cop's words) than John McCluskey and Casslyn Welch, the Arizona prison escapee and his alleged accomplice. Plus, their Sentra is one year older than the 1997 model that McCluskey and Welch may or may not be driving around in.
A striking photo compilation of the duo, whom the media have enthusiastically dubbed "Bonnie and Clyde," is visible at TucsonCitizen.com. That someone decided Matt looks like the gap-toothed McCluskey is probably humorous only to those of us who have seen Matt cradle his "green drink," or heard him rhapsodize on the benefits of alfalfa sprouts or Reiki. We won't even go into the injustice of Sam being mistaken for Welch.
Somewhere in here, there must be a lesson to all of us. (Translation: There must be a reason why I'm writing this.) Maybe it's just that behind a dirty windshield, we all sort of look the same?