I enjoy media outlets shilling for products as much as the next reader, but containing my enthusiasm for the utter kickass-ity of this ninja hand dryer encountered at Denver's Mellow Mushroom is pretty much impossible.
Thus, meet the Dyson Airblade:
It's got all these eco benefits and does less negative stuff to the Earth which is, you know, great, but the real highlight? You put your hands in, and air wipes water off your hand. It was by far the second greatest thing to come out of the (mind-blowing) Paul McCartney concert.
But otherwise, enjoy its use of 80 percent less energy than traditional hand dryers, its 12-second dry time, and the fact that I was pretty sure I had reached the pinnacle of lifetime experiences after using one.