Attention, Dog the Bounty Hunter and other slaves to fashion: An organization has finally recognized your genius and decided to reward you for it.
Yes, mulleted men and women, the Pittsburgh Zoo recently gave discount entry fees to all those still sporting the wildest of all haircuts.
Short hair? Long hair? You long ago realized there was no reason to choose. And you've walked around looking like there's a shabby pelt on your head ever since. Long after visionaries like Michael Bolton threw in the towel, you stayed true to the style. Good for you.
But watch out, those zoo people — like so many others — have some ulterior motives. No, they apparently didn't plan to lock you and your brethren up like the hairy beasts you are, but they were offering the runner-up for best mullet a free haircut.
Blasphemy. Pure blasphemy.