First, I just want to say that we love each and every one of our readers.
You guys are great. But you really need to drink more coffee before you read our paper when it's dated April 1.
Guys, I hate to break this to you, but there are some fake stories in this week's paper. Though we got some oddly jubilant phone calls on the medical meth bit, we have to tell you, METH IS STILL ILLEGAL. Even if you have gum disease.
No, we are not selling the Pioneers Museum to Pueblo, or grinding our streetlights into scrap metal, or milking cats, or selling breast milk cheese. There really was never a joint in the back of your paper. Dog the Bounty Hunter still has his hair and the sheriff — sadly — has no paintball operation.
You've been had.
But you are not alone.
I talked to City Spokeswoman Sue Skiffington-Blumberg today and she said the phone has been ringing off the hook. Citizens are calling and e-mailing, telling her that the city has lost its gourd.
Even the national media bought into it.
"We got a call from the national media, and I don't want to totally embarrass them, they just asked if it was true that we were going to have to relocate the Pioneers Museum," Skiffington-Blumberg says. "I just told them ... the Indy is renowned for having an April Fools' joke when April 1 falls on the day they publish."
By the way, Skiffington-Blumberg says city employees found the fake city stories hilarious and appreciated the laugh.
On the other hand, she says, "We're so glad it only comes every couple of years."