Colorado Springs has experienced a bit of a news hit recently: dark and lonely streetlights, useless trash cans adrift in a world free of parks, green city grass dreading that fateful day when the water will run out (though that one's actually been fixed, sort of) and of course the news that, while some people hate boob-jobs, nobody just hates boobs like Lamar Advertising. (Or do they? Look for more in this Thursday's Independent).
Finally, though, something that doesn't make the city look like an economic model's "Worst Case Scenario" setting: a local woman's 2008 craigslist posting has been turned into the highest art of all, a South by Southwest short film.
I know you probably get this a lot, but you are the hottest garbage man I have ever seen. Every Tuesday, I wait at my window desperately at 8:00 AM waiting for you. I love your strong muscles; not [sic] matter how heavy my waste is, you have no problem lifting it. Sometimes I hide bricks in there just so I can see your sweaty big muscles in real action. You may know my house specifically because I always leave my old lingerie lying on top of all my other trash. I put it out there for you, you know. I want you to have them. Don't worry, I spray a little perfume on them before I toss them so they don't smell anymore. Anyway, if you like what you see in my trash, come inside sometime, there will be plenty more of where that came from. ;)
Your Secret Admirer
P.S. I'm single with no kids. All the diapers are from my grandmother who lives with me.
And there's even good news in the good news: the lingerie doesn't smell anymore; the diapers are from the grandmother — all good things. So enjoy the trailer below, and on behalf of my trash-guy friends that I don't have: don't put bricks in the waste.