Columns » Kenneth Cleaver

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent

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August 21, 2005

Ms. Laura Davis

c/o Booth Media Group

1386 Nightshade Rd.

Carlsbad, CA 92009

Dear Ms. Davis,

My partner and I are struggling to find a name for our baby.

I say struggling because friends, relatives and acquaintances have claimed dibs on all of our favorites. These include, but are not limited to: Autumn, Winter, Montana, Dylan, Mackenzie, Brayden, Salmon, Parker, Amber, Adzuki, Bulgur, Topher, Tofu, Widget, Connor and Yogurt.

We feel our child deserves the best, and it all begins with a name. It should be something that sets him or her apart from peers and, in effect, starts the branding process that will differentiate s/him in the competitive marketplace of the future.

It is very important that our child's name suggest a lifestyle that's both exotic and respectable. It's also important that the name connects, however vaguely, with the ethnic identities our baby-boomer parents were only too quick to repudiate.

Finally -- and this is more of a predicament for a boy than a girl -- we want to make sure that the name attracts attention without inviting undue ass-kickings.

Any advice you might offer would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

Kenneth Cleaver

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