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Ho ho ho, heh heh heh



We needn't limit the holidays to read-from-the-script piety, convention and tradition. To make them memorable, it's often best to tap into the offbeat, irreverent and humorous.


Dan Orley
Astrozon and Chelton area

Marketing professional

What's your coolest-ever holiday present? A BMX bike when I was 10. I hadn't learned to ride a bike yet, and now I could.

Name the oddest gift you've been given. My parents gave me a Disney trivia board game when I was 18 years old and a freshman in college.

What item would you give President-elect Obama? A bullet-proof vest.

How about outgoing President Bush? An encyclopedia and a dictionary.

If, this year, you had to make instead of purchase your gifts, what would you give? Finger paintings.

Name the best moment of the holiday season. When it's over.


Faye Parker
Palmer Park

Retired health care worker

What gift brings you the happiest memories? The dollhouse that my mom and dad made for me out of orange crates when I was 6 or 7.

What would you give President Bush this year? A pat on the back. So many people dislike him, and I don't think he did that bad of a job.

If you were to give gifts you made instead of purchased this year, what would they be? Cranberry-orange bread.

What's your favorite moment of the holiday season? Christmas Eve after all the kids have gone to bed, the tree is decorated, the packages are out, and you just sit there with an egg nog.


Rob Masters

Vodka distiller

What's the most fun holiday gift you've given? I gave my fiance an engagement ring while we were under water, scuba diving.

What's the oddest present you've given? One year I gave a blue toilet seat to a girlfriend.

What would you give President-elect Obama this year? A broom to sweep up the mess Bush has left us.

How about Bush? A rocking chair to retire in.

If you had to make and not purchase all your gifts this year, what would you give? Actually, in just a few minutes I'll be giving my climbing buddy a bottle of vodka that I made myself.

What's the best moment of the holiday season? Sitting by a warm fire with family and friends on a cold, snowy day after a nice meal, sipping a vodka.

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